May 12, 2015

Today I fully executed a pose that I had up until now only glimpsed. It is not a pose I regularly practice, and it was not even a pose I was consciously working toward – today or in my repertoire of poses. Instead, on a whim, I tried it today when I was not particularly inspired or having a remarkable time on the mat. I was ho-hum in my intention and attention to this practice. And then, when I was least expecting it, the pose appeared and opened up before me. It almost felt like the pose was in me and not me on it.

And did life suddenly get better? Did my worries, concerns or longings release? No. However, what did happen was an unexpected gift. The gift was not the pose itself but this feeling of absorption in it, through it. The pose happened and was inside me when I didn’t even know it was there. This moment in the pose brought with it a trail of thoughts that gave me insight into my wholeness. In order to do the pose, I needed to bring all of me into the experience. I had to be working as one and in that pose I understood beyond words a totality of experience that was not conscious, segregated or anticipated. I was all there.

Life often compartmentalizes us. It asks us to separate out who we are into roles and responsibilities. It brings relationships in which we may show only aspects of ourselves. Through our lifetime, we give away parts of who we are (willingly or unwillingly) and break up our wholeness.

The full spectrum of yoga practices asks us to come into fullness, the perfect full-moon circle of being. Asana, pranayama and meditation when executed with intention and over time bring us to ourselves. We find what is and always has been inside us, even if we didn’t consciously know it was there.