June 12, 2015

The retreat wrapped up a couple of hours ago with warm good-byes and the slight feeling of loss that the end of these experiences can bring for me. Carole, the other participants and I have shared many moments together and now it ends. There are the usual promises to maintain connections and even to return for another retreat, but as we all know, life may or may not adhere to any of those wishes. So, it ends. And what is left is the warm wash of feeling, of connection and closeness, of a new layer of body connection and the slight tinge of relief that can come with an ending.

Retreat experiences are intense. They demand a focused attention and a desire or intention to move into uncomfortable and new spaces. That means they are not easy and this one was no different. We held poses for incredible long times, I was asked to work my shoulders, in particular, in ways that challenged my structural make-up and I was given instructions that seemed impossible. And I was to be present through the entire time. It was yoga.

Through this, I have been contemplating how yoga asks us to give up who we are, the ways that we understand ourselves and the imprint of experiences that define us. If we choose not to do this, yoga reinforces our habits and patterns instead of changing them. The transformative power of yoga is kindled when we put aside who we think we are. These shoulders are like my mother’s shoulders and therefore they are part of my genetic make-up. If so, that is the end of the story …. Hmmm…. Maybe. Maybe not. However, if this is what I believe than this is what will be true. If I can open up to the idea that this may not be true, then suddenly there is potential for something to shift.

In and around the yoga sessions, we managed some shopping time in Ubud :) The easiest way to get there is a short walk through the protected Monkey Forest park. There are many signs suggesting one removes hats, sunglasses and anything else that may be tempting for monkeys to snatch. It is recommended not to carry food or even food wrappers. Visitors are also told that if a monkey jumps on you, to stay calm, keep walking and the monkey will jump off. One trip through the forest, a smallish monkey hopped on my low back and climbed up my back to pull on my hair. It was startling! And after a short moment, I keep walking and near the exit gate a couple of yards away, the monkey effortlessly jumped off. So now I know where the expression, got a monkey on your back comes from :)

And we all have monkeys on our backs, right? They are memories, genetic patterning, certain relationships, jobs, etc. It is interesting to think that walking forward is the answer. Regardless of the monkey, you stay steady, keep walking and be open to the possibility that the monkey will jump off of its own accord. Regardless of my shoulders’ potential limitations, I continue to work with them, open to idea that change may happen. And the change may happen and it may barely register.

With the combination of professional development and retreat, I have not had much chance to fully experience all the delights of Bali. Certainly the textiles here are amazing and I enjoy the barter involved with the shopping. For the end of the retreat, we had dinner at a local restaurant with a community dance troupe performance. The dancers were graceful and the dances reminiscent of Indian dance. Beautiful! The food so far has been flavourful, presented with great attention to detail and imbibed with care. Delicious!

Tomorrow we are leaving Ubud for a small place on one of the Gili Islands. We will be at the sea and I am excited to get to the ocean and start exploring a bit more.

PS. The Internet speed has been making uploading pictures difficult so hopefully we will find a better internet speed at the next location (but don’t hold your breath!).